Where the Magic Happens

Pete bought me this sewing machine two years ago at the DI for $10. It weighs no less than 30 pounds and came with all the manuals even though it is 40 or 50 years old. I also have a Husqvarna that my Mom gave me but I have never been able to figure it out so this is the machine I use. Recently, the foot pedal stopped working and so I would have to plug the motor in to sew and remove it to stop. The outlets are just to the left of the machine. Last week, it sparked and blew. I would have been fine to try it again but Pete being into safety and all said no way. He stripped the wires and fixed it so that I now plug it into this extension cord here. It actually works really well but I think after Christmas I made need to make alternate arrangements. I'm documenting this because I want my kids to know what a task it is to sew these costumes they keep asking for. So, thank you Pete for fixing me up, it's so nice to have a handyman around.
Another activity I enjoy is watching TV at night when everybody else is in bed and there is nobody to talk through my stories. I watch with the captions on and it has been a real pain because Olive peed on our remote one day and it hasn't worked since. Funny how sentences like that don't even make me flinch since I've had Olive. So, I have to get out of bed to change the channel or turn it off. I know, not major, but it's cold. So yesterday Pete came home with a new REMOTE COMMANDER. That's what it says on the package. Pete is hoping this will encourage me to spend a lot more time in bed. I will never again refer to my "changer" as an inferior controller. As a matter of fact I advised Pete I will not even respond if he uses the dumb name controller. I'm thinking about making one of those plastic covers for it, just in case.
Lastly, I'd like to thank everybody for the well wishes. It's been kind of a wide range of emotions for me and I was really happy for the emails and phone calls, so thank you again, for everything.

Mama Said Knock You Out

It's not the way I like to see myself, but I know that deep down I love attention. I think most people do, but I also thrive on chaos and noise and a certain amount of drama. I love it. Hans is like this also, we can't listen to music at a decent level, it has to be full blast or not at all. I know there are mornings that Pete has driven the car to work after I have driven it that he gets in and turns the car on and probably gets really pissed. Especially at that ungodly hour. Pete's not like this, he is quiet and shuts down when there is too much excitement. Olive is like him in that sense. Hans and I though? No way, if there are people awake we are awake, we cannot miss out on a moment of action. We are last to bed and first to rise. This is why I am really perplexed as to how I've handled being sick. I really don't want any reaction to it. I actually don't even want to talk about it. I do have a new, tiny tumor. I will be going back to radiation. They won't be operating so as not to screw my speech or swallowing. I told my parents and I'm letting everyone else know here. Mostly because I hate being out of the loop and I don't want anyone left out. Other than that, I think I will have this done by Christmas and we can move on. This is one area that I just want to be completely solitary. I think I will need Pete a little more than last time but I am going to continue with my Christmas plans and forge on. So, now you know. No secrets on this blog. I will let you also know that I refused the treatment at first but Pete talked me to my senses. I will also spare you the several dark jokes I have thought up as some people are really sensitive( that's right Alex, you never laugh at them!) Instead I will leave you with this video, it is cheesy and 70's. I know that my Dad is not a Cat Stevens fan but I love this song. I have for a long time and this is something Hans and I will have turned up all the way today....

Clever Title

Well, just last night I finished putting away the last of the Thanksgiving dishes. They trickled in as we ate our way through turkey for breakfast,lunch and dinner the last couple of days. The day after Thanksgiving Pete went in to work sometime between 3:30 and 4:00 am. I drove him because I wanted to get some fabric and whatnot at the day after sales. I took the two little ones with me because Pat was staying with us over the holiday and they had plans to be out early. So we bundled up and went out. Hans wore his favorite hat that Big Grandma gave him in California. He wears it everyday and puts it on so he looks like he has a mohawk, or as he called it yesterday, a homohawk.
Siobhan and Oscar had a great time with their Dad. They are completely indulged when they are with him. I cannot even begin to tell you how many presents they had. They went up the Space Needle and rock climbing, archery practice, laser tag. They had so much fun, but most of all they just relish their time with Pat. When I see Siobhan with her Dad I can imagine a little how my Mom must have felt watching me and my Dad. The incessant, inside, ridiculous jokes. Everything is funny and no one else quite gets it. Those two have a special bond and when I see Siobhan with her friends, I see Pat when he was 17. I'm glad he'll be back for Christmas. Hans is very sad he left.

So, I usually like to have something fun planned for the day Pat leaves. It's hard to say goodbye. Siobhan was granted a furlough from her month long grounding she was sentenced to last week to attend a birthday party. Before that though we made a trip to the kids all time favorite place in Washington.....IKEA. My kids LOVE Ikea. They have kids club cards and swipe them at every visit. They usually end up with a free meal in the cafeteria and that is why they love it. Meatballs,fries, ligonberries and a drink. If they don't get the free meal it's $1.99 and that I can deal with. I do like shopping there also. Yesterday I wanted to go for the gnome wrapping paper because I so love gnomes. They are sold out, which really bummed me out but at least I got my $1 latte on the way home. So now it's back to working on Christmas presents. It will be easier when I get my new glasses this week. My old ones have seen better days and those days were usually when Olive wasn't around.....

Thanksful

Happy Thanksgiving to everyone! It wasn't until I started cooking three days ago that I realized that this would be my first solo Thanksgiving. I was the adult and there were no parents to back me up. I trumped Dads measly 9 guests with my impressive 14. Never mind that 10 of them are not old enough to vote or even buy a Lotto ticket. I made a 22 pound turkey, mashed potatoes, yams with marshmallows, ginger/pear cranberry sauce, stuffing,green beans and corn. In addition to the leftover 4 layer black and white cake from last night we will be having pumpkin pie and a ginger/pear cheesecake. That's right, I'm patting myself on the back, that's a lot of work and I will never complain about anybodies mood during Thanksgiving preparations ever again.
I think it has gone pretty well, thus far. The kids were happy and that's really what it's all about. Patrick is here and Siobhan and Oscar are thrilled. I made all the kids write a page about what they were thankful for. The older kids mostly wrote their home, food, family...the younger ones toys... Hans knows letters but not really how to spell too much and he inadvertently wrote sex.
So, today I am thankful for many things. For Pete and how hard he works to allow me to stay home with the kids. For the kids and all the joy and love they bring to our lives. For all of our family that isn't here today. I am very homesick for Utah today but am happy to be with my sister and neices and nephews. Mostly though I am thankful for being here. I would not have chosen to have cancer but I am thankful for what it has given me. I appreciate all the wonderful things I am blessed with and all the opportunities to come that I will not pass up for lack of time. Finally, I am thankful for this silly blog that I love. It has given me a place to spill my thoughts. I have been able to reconnect with old friends, have daily contact with my family and learn more about friends and family that I didn't know well enough. Also, it is someplace to show off my ever expanding collection of food photos. Hope you had a great Thanksgiving. Love, Matilda

Oscar Valenzuela Roche- The big 10

Who's double digits today? This guy.... I am the oldest of three girls. After I had Siobhan and was pregnant with Oscar, I prayed for a boy. I did not know what I was having with my first two babies and I will never forget the moment Oscar was born and I saw he was indeed a boy. For those that were not around to know Oscar as a baby you may be surprised to know that he was a big baby. He was a Mamas boy and did not like to be held by anyone other than me. One day a week I would have to work in Siobhans preschool as part of the coop and he would stay with my Grandmother about 10 blocks away. He did not want to be held so when he was old enough to stand she would put him in her shopping cart. You know, the kind that is a big basket with wheels. He would stand in it next to her rocking chair and she'd feed him through the bars. Oscar was her baby and she adored him like no other. There are times that Oscar will let loose a little and when he does he is downright silly. He has an amazing imagination and can build anything out of legos. He draws up plans for different forts and clubhouses. He made a bank in our living room when I was in California. Pete deposited a dollar but was unable to withdraw it because he didn't have the dollar service fee for withdrawal. Oscar wants to be an engineer or an architect when he grows up. I think he will be great at that. He has scored above average on all state testing and receives straight A's in school. He reads a lot and next month will be competing in a "reading bee".
He is also a collector like his Mom. As I may have mentioned before, the kids at school call him Vacuum. He brings home anything he finds on the playground, floor or trash that he can use to make something. Last week he came home with 17 boxes of raisins because nobody else wanted them from the school lunch that day. The kids at school love him, especially the girls. This is his Achilles heel, he is after all a 10 year old boy and girls are strange territory right now. Awhile back while Siobhan was relaying a story at the dinner table there was mention of bra size and even though he was not a part of the conversation, Oscar got up from the table and started scratching his armpits and saying " I'm a monkey". Whenever he is uncomfortable he blurts out random things. A classic is chicken banana, a staple in early years that we still use daily in our house. I thank God everyday that he gave me the boy I prayed for. I never could have imagined what a joy he would be to me. Oscar is very independent and I don't always feel that he needs me but I know that I need him. He is a big help and we have a lot of fun together. I love you Oscar, more than I could ever say, Happy Birthday my boy, chicken banana! Love, your Mama aka Harry Blogger

The First Thanksgiving

Last minute preparations are in full swing for the big day. Tomorrow Oscar will be 10! I need a break from the cooking and wrapping and thought this may be a good time to share my favorite Thanksgiving. I do not have a great history with Thanksgiving. It's not really my favorite, we always had great dinners and enjoyed being with family when I was young, but that was not rare. We spent a lot of time with extended family, almost daily, and we always ate well. Thanksgiving brought out a frenzy of activity in my Mom, understandably, it was a lot to take on and my sisters and I tended to get in the way. I remember I tried to talk her down a few times but truthfully she loved the rush and the stress. Now that I have my own kids I can relate to that feeling. You want good memories for your children and you feel entirely responsible for their experience and it HAS to be perfect. I remember we spent one year at Patricks brothers when Siobhan was just tiny. I spent the entire day laying in their bed with a serious stomach bug. Pat did not yet have a drivers license and for some reason we were driving my dads van that had an awesome back door. When we tried to slide it open it came off the hinges and we could not get it back on, Pat's brother ended driving us home and I was sick the whole way.
With that bit of background, you may not be surprised that when Pete's parents invited me to Thanksgiving after I had met them twice, I told Pete I could not go. I did stay up late the night before baking. I wanted to make a pecan pie for his Dad, as he had asked me if I could bake and when I told him I could, he requested a pecan. At that point in our life Pete and I enjoyed beer a lot. I think we went through a few 12 packs that night. In addition we both smoked quite a bit. So, by the next morning he talked me into going. It was not surprising that he didn't feel great. He was also nervous, I was new to his family and he didn't often bring girls over. By the time we got there he was having serious chest pains and not breathing very well. He laid down in his Moms room and I was so grateful that Aaron and I were already friends because I was probably as nervous as Pete. We sat down to eat and Pete decided he needed to go to the hospital. It was a blur from there, Aaron told me I should stay and eat, Kim grabbed her jacket to take us, his parents also had a couple of missionaries over for dinner and they proceeded to give Pete a blessing, the first I had ever witnessed. It was so surreal to be there, on Thanksgiving, with new people and Pete was having a heart attack. His parents followed us and we spent plenty of time there in the waiting room. Good thing I brought pictures from our recent trip to Seattle. Here was Pete with my nephew and a 40 ounce, here's us at the bar, here we are in Chinatown with mini Sapporo's.
In the end it didn't take much to deduce that he really just had a hangover/panic attack of sorts. I was so happy that he was okay. Mostly though, it was that day that made me realize how great his family was. Kim and his parents were obviously worried about him but as guilty as I felt they never made me feel bad. They were so nice. Nice enough to invite me back over. I also think that was a big day for Pete and I, it was only a few weeks later that he proposed. By the next Thanksgiving I would be pregnant with Hans. I have spent every Thanksgiving since that first with Pete's family, on the off years usually at our house. I will miss them so much this year. I am sad that I'm not there to make a pecan pie for John or do a Thanksgiving art project with Sharron. So, tomorrow night I may have to commemorate my initiation into Pete's family and crack open a Red Dog. But just one.

Fishin'

This is just a tiny little post to let Grandpa Fish know that Pete is now ready for some serious fishing and now has a "spot". Salmon for dinner! By the way, Oscar caught his own!

NOBODY Puts Baby in the Corner

When I was flying home a few days ago, I was browsing the skymall catalog as I'm wont to do when I am on the plane. I saw this book titled Elf on the Shelf. I have these Elves, I think most people with grandmothers probably have inherited one or two, and I thought " This is just what we need!" So, last night before I went for a walk I hung the elf on the door handle outside. We had talked about the elf that was coming to stay with us until Christmas and Hans had been anticipating his arrival. When I returned, I knocked on the door and he came running. I would pay serious money to see that look on his face again. It was a strange mixture of excitement and complete terror. We put the elf up on the armoire in the living room. First off the kids wanted a name. I hadn't had the foresight to have one handy. The first thing that came to mind was Frosting, since Hans has been talking about Jack Frosting nipping at his nose for the last week or so. They were satisfied with both the name and the fact that only adults can hear him. Hans has made me swear I will not venture outside the house without him and that Frosting won't be able to see him in the bathroom. I felt kind of bad at first, this wasn't intended to scare him, just make him think twice before he hits his sister or draws on the wall. This morning he was in mid swing when he stopped and took a glance at Frosting before he walked away and started a book. Oscar and Siobhan are good sports and never let on at all. If anything, they raise the level of excitement. Olive? She just yells, " Mom, HE CAN"T TALK" and resumes her time out in the corner. Hans though, he is so sweet and I love his enthusiasm for the holidays this year. So, I feel like he'll be alright. Never mind that he's taken to wearing a jumpsuit, something else you may have around if you have grandparents. He also cut his own hair today. Yeah, he'll be fine.

I Have To Praise You

I have had mixed success with my videos so I am going to post this while it works. Can you tell I've been enjoying YouTube? I'm sure this isn't as entertaining as the Tourettes guy Pete and Ryan have been watching but this is my favorite Fatboy Slim video. Hans knows every move to this dance video. I am mostly posting it though for Pete, as it conveys how I feel about him and he has been extremely patient as of late. So, for Pete Lingling ..........

Hold Me Closer Tiny Dancer

I feel like I've been kind of heavy lately. As Siobhan would say, this is so played, but here is Olive dancing to Hans' favorite song, The Humans Are Dead by The Flight of the Conchords.This should lighten things up a little......

We Lived Here

Living in Pacific Grove you can't help but drive by the ocean at least once a day. There's a routine to it and I can trace it's path in my head without missing a thing. That drive and the beaches along it have been an integral part of my life. I grew up on them. As a child with my parents and family, playing with friends as I grew older, bonfires on the weekend with my friends in high school. I always liked to laugh at my stepmom Sharon as we would ride around the beach and she would say" We live here." What a silly thing to say I always thought. Now, as I say goodbye and my family slowly migrates up North, I can understand where she was coming from.
I think the fact that we had work to do made this whole process so much easier. Most everything was packed by the time we arrived but the furniture was left. Despite their bad backs ( and one arm and one eye) these are two pretty tough old men. Also, John may think about an eye patch like Bret in Flight of the Conchords.

Of course it's easy to recall all the memories of this house. When my dad fell through the attic, when my mom got her hand stuck to the freezer, drying our hair in front of the fireplace. The steps to our house have always been the same. My sisters and I used to start at the bottom and jump from the first. Then the second, and so on. I was also sitting on the stairs when the contractor came about the foundation at the very start of the remodeling decade. I remember him saying that remodeling was probably the #1 cause of divorce. I carried that fear with me until unfortunately my parents did divorce. This window here is at the front of our house. There was a large floor vent there that we would stand over in our nightgowns to get warm. My mom always laid our clothes out for us the night before so our mornings were never rushed. We spent a lot of time waiting in the car for my dad and I remember the Sunday morning that my Mom honked the horn and my Dad mooned us from this window. Hmm, maybe it wasn't the remodeling after all. Maybe that and the peppermint schnapps and garlic incident. I know that this is going to be difficult for my Mom. There is nothing I can say. It was sad to walk out that door knowing that I will never be there again. But for me, I feel it has been a gradual process. The places I remember best have changed or are gone. My memories will include the room that held the refrigerator, it's own tiny room that had crystals in the windows. I loved to sit on the brown, corduroy like floor and watch the rainbows spin around the room while my mom cooked. The old dining room, with the wallpaper, there used to be a wicker horse in there. My mom and dads friends Carol and David once camped out there as they were building their home. THE CLOSET. The closet in our bedroom was a walk in hardwood floor closet with built in drawers. This is where I spent quite a bit of time in lock down. I have so much in my head it would take days to relive it all. Mostly though I remember being loved in that house. The occupants may have changed a couple of times but it was always a safe place and it has always been inhabited by people who love me. It's time for us to be all together though and I hope that you will know Mom that your house will change but all we really need is you. My two babies are worn out from too much fun. Grandpa just could not stop watching SpongeBob and we need a TV detox. Thank you for such a great visit, I cannot wait until you are here. Thank you also for providing us such an amazing place to grow. I cannot wait to be your chauffeur.

For our Veterans

I have been writing and rewriting this post in my head for some time. As I mentioned awhile back, I had watched a little of The War by Ken Burns. It was hard to see all of it though because it was on late so I checked the companion book out at the library. Thus began a new found obsession with World War 2. I am a liberal democrat and not a warmonger, to say the least. I am not interested in tactical maneuvers or any of the technical aspects at all. I am however, fascinated with the whole era. After I finished the Ken Burns book I checked out The Greatest Generation Speaks by Tom Brokaw ( awesome book!) and at least a half dozen more memoirs from both soldiers and Holocaust survivors. I cannot imagine a more terrifying or trying time. My grandfathers both served in the war in the Navy. Oddly enough, both were machinist mates. My maternal grandfather also served in the Korean War. I had never really taken much interest in that and now deeply regret that I had never asked more about his experiences. I can see now that it could have possibly explained some of his demeanor. I know for certain that it was responsible for some of the ways that my grandmother lived. Until the day she died she saved and collected all cans, boxes,paper and bottles. She would flatten them out and bundle them with string. She reused foil and jars. How did we get from that to the excessive amount of waste that we produce now in such a short time?
I have to say, as I read on into the War it started to weigh on me, especially reading towards the Holocaust. Pete and I have very different ways on handling this. It is depressing and so he doesn't read things that he knows will be sad. He has his limits and doesn't cross them. I have guilt, or something of the sort that makes me not able to stop reading it. I feel that for what others have suffered I have to validate by reading about it and acknowledging it. It would be wrong of me to put my unease ahead of their being memorialized. I read the obituaries for the same reason. I am ashamed to admit I am not a very patriotic person but I am so grateful for our veterans that fought for our country. I have cried for those that did not make it home and for those who did, only to never know peace in their lives. I have cried for the wives and children left behind. I have gained an appreciation and an understanding for my own families contribution. I can remember my grandfathers American Legion buddies and can only imagine how those close bonds may have been formed.
So today I really wanted to thank and acknowledge our veterans and currently enlisted men and women. I had high hopes of posting pictures today but I am still in California and that is proving difficult. In addition to my Grandfathers I also want to add that my Father in law, John served in Desert Storm in the Air Force and that my brother in law, Jeremy is currently in the Air Force. Pete's youngest brother Zak is in the reserves. Pete, you still get credit for enlisting in the Navy and going to boot camp. It's not your fault that you have the crazy eyes. So, thank you all. I don't think that my feelings about war will ever change but I will always respect and admire those so willing to stand up for our country.

aint no sunshine when she's gone....

Disclaimer: Please take the following lack of style as an attempt to fill in for a true writer. Matilda is in California and I'm am doing a sweet ass guest post for posterity. (whoever that is) I have to say I've come to the realization that I'm pretty much bored and pathetic without Mattie and the kids around. Siobhan even tried harder than usual to get out of the house, lest she be stuck all weekend with Oscar and me. Her attempts to invite herself over to three different friends houses were in vain, and she almost had a breakdown when Oscar got invited to play down the street. Although I snicker at oscar for updating me to the minute when Siobhan is supposed to be home, I kind of know how he feels. We went fishing early this morning but did not catch anything and are now reduced to video games and television.

I know the kids are having a great time in California, hopefully they got to go to the beach.

I'm really excited for everyone to be here for the holidays, and furthermore for some great fishing trips with John. I'm also waiting to hear about the wild adventures that Hans had with Grandpa Fish this weekend. I'm sure they will be exciting.

I'm going to make lunch for me and Oscar but in the meantime I'll be counting down the hours until Mattie is supposed to be home.

Hope you have a minute.

When I first had Siobhan I joined an absolutely wonderful parenting program called Parents Place. It is conducted through the adult school and is located in the old elementary school that I attended kindergarten and first grade in before it closed. I am so grateful to have had that as a new mother. Pacific Grove is a sometimes difficult place to be. My family has been there for a few generations and it is what I know and grew up with. It is obviously in California which lends itself to being a pretty liberal place and can very much be described as an old hippie town. As I grew older though, so did the population there. Being on the ocean, with Pebble Beach and Carmel butting up against it, it became more and more expensive to live there. It has become the place to retire. When I joined Parents Place I initially had my doubts about returning. The classes were organized so that the ages were all within two months of each other so we were all at the same level. The hard part for me was being a good 10 years younger than the other moms at the start of the session. Most of these moms were in their 30's or 40's. They were professionals that had decided to take a break in their careers to start a family. I was 22 and taking up newspaper delivery so that I could be home with Siobhan. It felt really awkward that first time but I fell in love with the instructors. One that I will always remember is Gail. I believe she was responsible for the program and I am certain that she is responsible for a large part of my parenting skills (along with my mother). She helped me to make really informed decisions and taught me about attachment parenting. At that time, probably the same as now, vaccinations ,circumcision and co sleeping were hot topics. Gail had a way of letting everybody be heard and making no one feel they were wrong even though we probably all felt we were right. ( I did vaccinate, but did not circumcise my boys all my kids have slept with us) I ended up making friends, as did Siobhan and Oscar. It was hard to leave that community of women when I left California. The biggest lesson I learned there though was learning to be tolerant and respecting others beliefs. That is not always an easy task. When I left California I was really excited to meet some new people, maybe some younger moms like me. I did, but then there was the Mormon issue. Obviously, not everybody in Utah is looking to convert you or cast you aside as a gentile. Unfortunately, I had a rough start and didn't meet any of those people first. I was lucky though and when I married Pete I married into a large family. Hans is the oldest of the grandchildren on Pete's side and he is one of 10, soon to be 11. I absolutely cherish my sisters in laws, nieces and nephews. We met every Friday, as they still do, for Grandma day at my mother in laws. I don't think we could be any different, each of us, in our parenting styles and I think we have found a great way of hearing each other out without judging. We all hold strong opinions ( I did hold my tongue on the circumcision) but I think we are all awesome mothers. The point of this incessant rambling was that I don't think that I am better than anyone. This blog can make a person seem pretty self important and I felt bad after my last post. I never want to imply that anybody not making their own kids toys or clothes or costumes is any lesser. I just want to be informed and I want to pass on what I learn. I am a voracious reader and if I can pass on anything useful than I feel that my time is spent well. I did find that Europe holds stricter regulations and plastics from the UK are safe. California has had a ban on Phathalates for awhile and this is new today. Sorry for the novel. I will be leaving for California tomorrow, for the last time in the house I grew up in. If you thought today was a marathon, just hold onto your hats until next week. Oh, and just so I don't feel I'm making myself look good, you should know I lock the kids in the shed while I write this blog. Also, I broke our telephone when I dropped it in the toilet yesterday( don't ask).

It's Business Time

Today is a wonderful day for me. Two great things were made available today. The Flight of the Conchords I had been anticipating, I knew today was the day and I was waiting at Best Buy bright and early. But, Candy Cane Joe-Joe's?! I wasn't expecting them to arrive yet. Trader Joe's was what I missed most in Utah ( besides family). Pete and I had mapped them out before we moved here to make sure we'd be close.
We did a little exploring today and found a new park and a cool bridge. Olive was not really into it but Hans loved it. We've been passing a cold around and it was nice to get out and get some fresh air. This time of year sneaks up on me so quickly. Oscar will be 10 this month followed by Christmas and then Olive and Hans' birthdays. I usually try to make a large portion of their birthday and Christmas presents. I never remember how time consuming it is. Sometimes, I wonder if it is really worth it. Then I read about all the recalls and lead and phathalates. I threw out almost all of the plastic stuff after the first recall. We have amassed a small fortune in Legos and Star Wars so they stay. I may be overzealous, but I feel better with them gone. So, I find myself getting up a little earlier and staying up a little later. Carrying sewing with me wherever I go. But I forge on. There is nothing better, in my mind, than when I overhear one of the kids tell someone, " My Mama made it for me."

Dance Party USA

Well, with Halloween over Olive can stop stressing about wearing a costume and just get back to being herself. Today is Siobhans first school dance. It has changed since I was in middle school and the dance actually is right after school and is over by 4:30. She had three boys ask her and another boy bought her a ticket. I'm proud of her for being confident enough to say she just wants to go with her girlfriends and have fun. That,and her Dad gave her an awesome talk about boys and girls, quoting When Harry Met Sally for backup. Today is Dia de los Muertos. I made Olive this sugar skull shirt last year and I'm glad she was able to wear it today because it's getting a little snug. I liked this fabric a lot because it has glitter in it and is really festive. Olive likes it because it's pink and Hans likes it for the Skells (skeletons). I love the whole idea of this holiday and would love to be in Mexico to celebrate it someday. This is an altar I made for my Grandmother. I left some of her favorite things out for her. The crossword and Scramble. There is some Juicy Fruit and Hans left Dum-Dums. Next year I will complete my Grandfathers. I love him as well but it took longer than I thought. Also, the more time I spend thinking of my Grandpa the more I realize that Pete is a lot like him. My grandpa "tiled" his front yard in upside down glass beer bottles. He had a piece of cardboard hanging on the front door for years that had Chinese writing on it and underneath he wrote "But you can call me Mike". Once, I had a boyfriend over and while we were talking with my Grandmother he hid his bicycle and ran in the house to tell him "A Chinaman just rode off on your bike." Can you tell he's a WW2 vet? Man, I miss him. I do believe in ghosts, good and bad. I have had my experiences, as have Siobhan and Hans. When I was working on this I was remembering with Hans all the things my Big Grandma, as he called her, loved. "She likes chickens Mom," he said as he brought out a sticker. She did! She had a huge collection of chickens and Roosters. Things like this make me even more sure that our loved ones spirits live around us.

So, today I will remember all those that I have loved who have moved on. I believe they will come today and enjoy the things we leave for them and the memories we'll relive and tell to our children. They'll sit at our table and be our guests and tonight when we fall asleep, they will live in our dreams.