Very Superstitious

I am a very superstitious person. Not just a little stitious. I try not to be, I know it isn't rational or logical. I think it's just how I was brought up. We didn't go to church growing up but my grandmother and mom are Catholic. Besides the church part they are very devout and very religious. We grew up praying to both God and the Saints. There was always a lot of do's and don'ts and I was terrified for a few years there. A great many things were sins. Wasting food,talking back, fighting with your sisters. Then there were all the things that resulted in permanent damage. If you crossed your eyes they'd stay that way, pick your nose and your finger will be stuck permanently. My grandmother was in large part responsible for these notions. Sometimes they were positive. If your palm itches you're going to get money. I think I gradually built this into a mild form of OCD. For about 10 years I chewed on each side of my mouth an equal number of times whenever I ate. When I prayed at night I had to mention every person or else I lived in fear for weeks that something bad would happen to them. I tell Pete every night that I love him, even if he's already asleep, or else I think that we will break up. I know that this is ridiculous and I know that I am slightly crazy. For all these reasons mentioned above New Years Eve causes a slight panic for me. I feel that the tone of this evening and tomorrow will set the tone for the whole year. If my house isn't clean tonight, it will be a messy year. If there is fighting and arguing, this year will be an angry one. Last year we were all really sick with food poisoning, then I was diagnosed with cancer. Crazy? Yes. But in my mind, I cannot help but draw these conclusions. I don't bother with resolutions, that is setting myself up for far too much self scrutiny. I do love the idea of the New Year though. New possibilities, a fresh start, planning for the future. It will be another big year, Siobhan will turn 13, Hans will start kindergarten, I will be alone in the house with Olive(yikes!), Oscar will begin his last year in elementary school. There is so much to look forward to and I am so grateful to be here. I don't take that for granted and I am grateful for the lessons that having cancer has taught me. Now, as long as I continue tapping my foot 4 times before getting in bed it will stay away. Just kidding. Sometimes, I wonder if I share a little too much?
Besides the cancer, there have a been a great other many things that have taken place this year. We moved to Washington, my mom sold her home, three nephews and a niece were born, Zak came home from his mission, there was a day last week that Olive wasn't crying or calling me a bucket head. All really good stuff. I am so happy in my life. I have a great husband and amazing children. I have family and friends that I love and adore. I also have this place, thank you for coming here and being so kind. I have had this blog for 16 months and have never had a negative word said. I appreciate that and I also enjoy those of you that share your family. So, now I'd like to share a few photos from the year. Be safe and have fun this evening. Be sure your house is clean, there is no arguing and whatever you do, do not eat any donuts from Pikes Place. I will be back tomorrow for a whole new year of blogging!

It's The Best Day Ever

I failed to mention that in the course of this visit we also celebrated Grandpa Fishes birthday. He's a pretty popular guy around here. The girls cannot leave him alone and the boys cannot stop talking to him. He is a pretty special guy. Today he spent the morning repairing our toilet, it needed new seals and then drove about three hours round trip in the snow to take me to pick up a serger that I found on craigslist. I am so happy that John and I are friends, I really love him. I also want to thank Auntie Norah. There are a few things that the kids had seen over the holidays on TV that they really liked. Chia pets have been sung about for the last month. When Hans and Olive opened these Norah, well, you would have thought it was Christmas. Thank you.
And this is it. A really big day for me. I have had serious anxiety over the type of machine to buy. I have wanted a serger for sewing clothes but didn't want to pay the money for it when all I'd use it for is clothing. I found this on Craigslist today for a song. I am thrilled and plan on taking some classes on serging this next month. I was happy that it was a Bernina because that is the brand I've been looking at. I headed back down to the dealer today and got set up for classes and put down my deposit on this. It will be here in a week and will be mine, all mine. So, now I have two machines that are just what I wanted. I still have that weird nervous feeling that you get when you make a big purchase. Not that I have a lot of experience with that. But, I am excited and I have to thank my mom and John for being so good to me. I hope to do a lot of sewing for them.

and then I blinked and it was over........

Wow, I am appalled at my poor use of grammar in my last post. It is a true testament to the craziness surrounding me yesterday. But today the tree is down(too dry),Pete's in bed(too tired) and my dad is at home(no work, sliced part of his thumb off). I was hoping to post some more Christmas photos, but they are inexplicably missing from my pictures. There is still so much going on here. Pat has had the kids out all day. We still need to find my parents an apartment. Most exciting though is that I am going to buy a new sewing machine, a really nice one. It's akin to buying a new car and I have a lot of brochures and a lot of shopping around to do. So, does anyone have any suggestions? I am super excited about it. I hope everyone else had a great Christmas and is enjoying some well deserved rest. I think it will take a couple of days to get back into a regular blogging mode, but it will happen. Love to you all!

Aint no party like a Lindgren party.

I have meant to post more often this past week but it's just been so dang busy. The kids are put of school and we have had extra people here and there is always some sort of shopping/cleaning/cooking to be done. Between my sister and I there are 10 kids. That's a lot of kids. So, we had a lot of presents. There are grandparents and parents and step-grandparents and step- parents and the gifts just keep adding up. Her is a peek at what the kids woke up to. We had to have the little kids come down first to avoid the crowd. I think they were a little stunned.
Alex and David made it along with Joel, Davids dad, and we have been having a great time.

Malachi and Saul really got into opening presents. Just so you'reaware, I think a quarter of the presents were Legos. This kids are really indulged sometimes but I think they are pretty great kids. They bring me so much happiness and I just don't think Christmas would be the same without kids around. We are missing my Dad and Sharon a lot and look forward to next year when we might all be together. We also miss all our family in Utah and Jeremy and Annisha. We are excited to see them soon. We love you all and hope you are having a great day together. I'll be back to my usual posting this week and look forward to catching up with everyone. Merry Christmas!

It's Called a Brogue

Last night I went to my nieces and nephews holiday program with my mom and John. I was impressed at the amount of people in attendance and at how well the children performed. That's Georgie in the left corner. Nicoe read a few different scriptures.
Silas sang Little Drummer Boy with his class.
It was nice, I enjoyed it. It's been great having my mom here. Today was my last treatment, I hope. Now comes the onslaught of Merry Christmas guests. Patrick arrives tomorrow, as well as my sister and her 6 kids. Alex and David will be bringing Davids dad. With the exception of the Weitzmans, they are all staying here. I am really happy about it. I am also hoping that Grandma Double R can make an appearance after the holiday. I really miss all of Pete's family. In unrelated news, I want to add something that happened last week. When we were in Utah, I received a call from Oscars teacher saying that they had referred him for speech therapy. He has a different way with pronouncing R's. He started in Utah and continued here and I had noticed a little improvement. Two weeks ago at parent teacher conferences, his speech therapist came in to talk about releasing him from the therapy. She advised me that she felt that there was not much more they could do for Oscar. In her opinion he had an "accent". I advised her that he had spent a few years living with his dad and grandparents who moved here as adults from Ireland. So, Oscar was released from speech with this as the explanation,"Oscar has somewhat of an Irish dialect, which is a communication difference, not a disorder." Now, if I could get him to lay off the Guinness........

All I Want For Christmas

When Olive was 1 we took her to the dentist for the first time. Hans had to go and they suggested that we take care of both appointments at once since Olive already had several teeth. Hans was nervous and bothered by the whole thing. He ended up sitting on my lap through it and was happy to leave. Olive loved it, from the first visit. I don't know if she feels likes she's being pampered or if it's the cartoons being played, but she loves it at the dentist. She has always had excellent check ups and is usually pretty good about allowing us to brush her teeth. So, I'm not sure if it's the pop rocks and Coke for breakfast, or all the night time nursing that took place, but she has ended up with two really bad teeth. They are the two on either side of her front teeth. She started complaining two nights ago that one of them was hurting. I gave her a lollipop to soothe her, not really, just some ibuprofen. She asked me to call the dentist, she is, after all, the sensible one around here. This morning she woke at 5:30 and started "reminding" me and I called at 8:00 am, on the dot. They had a cancellation and I was able to go in at 9. You have never seen Olive as well behaved as she is with the dentist. She is so pleasant and cooperative. She even winked at me during the exam, just to let me know all was well. Unfortunately, the dentist said that he will have to pull both teeth. He said that her two front teeth were in perfect shape but he would advise pulling all four to avoid a "bunny rabbit" look. Am I alone in thinking that pulling all four would be a worse look? That would break my heart. I am already upset about the two. I have brushed her teeth since she grew them and I have such guilt that they have gotten this way. Olive is not at all bothered by this and is counting down the day until she goes back for him to pull the teeth. She also asked if we can buy some of the "nakins" that the dentist uses, she really likes them. So, that will be a difficult day and I really wish that we lived closer to Uncle Jeremy, this would be so much easier if it was someone I knew and trusted. For now, I'm thinking I might try wearing scrubs and put our television on the ceiling to replicate the dentist office atmosphere. Apparently,that's the place Olive is happiest.

Hey, Mr.Postman

My mom and John arrived Sunday night. We have been having a great time. Pete always says that when he married me, he married his mother. I feel the same way, Pete and my mother are very much alike. They are in charge, organizers. It's great for me, this house has never looked better. I've always felt I'm more like my dad. I'd rather carry out the orders than give them. I am happy that my mom is here. I have missed her. I'm sure I will have lots to post about her in the next couple of days, but for today, I've had something else on my mind.
I remember specifically, my mom driving my dad to work one morning with us. It was really early and not yet light out and we were still mostly asleep. My dad works in Pebble Beach which is gated. You actually have to pay if you just want to take a ride through. I think it may have been the guard shack lit up or maybe one of the lights from the multi million dollar homes, but in my half awake mind it looked like the emerald city of oz and I wanted to work there like my dad. I first expressed this desire when we dropped a friend home in Pebble Beach after a birthday party. My dad was not as receptive as I had imagined. My dad had started at the post office when I was born, my grandfather was also a postman. I believed it was my destiny. Also, I liked the fact he got to eat lunch out in the forest, or by the ocean, I knew because sometimes my mom would take his lunch out to him and we would all eat together. He had a lot of friends at work and they joked and played pranks on each other. They had lockers and got to wear headphones and listen to their music while they sorted. How does that not sound fun?
Now, in addition to the post office and the newspaper delivery, my dad also had a third job. He had Atlas Building Maintenance. After work he would pick up my sisters and I (usually me and Alex) and we cleaned several doctors offices. This was in High school. It wasn't super fun work, but I would not have missed it for the world. We had all that time hanging out and we ate out every night ( hello chubette!) He did pay us, although I never saw any money due to my hundred dollar plus phone bills with Pat who lived the next town over. Alex spent hers on New Kids on the Block. It didn't matter what, if it was NKOTB, it was hers. We had a lot of fun though. Thanks to this experience cleaning, years later I landed a janitorial position at my dads post office. I'd head over after newspapers and clean the office. It was nice because I took Siobhan along in the backpack. I was terrible at the job, but I was there to get a taste of what it was like to be in my dads work environment. It was fun. For the most part, the people he worked with had been around since I was born and I knew them all. It was fun to witness that part of my dads life firsthand. I enjoyed that experience.
The other Pat, the one I was married to, took a temporary route in Carmel once, but didn't have too much success. I have taken the postal exam, in Salt Lake City, for the encoding center but had decided to stay at home with the kids. I find it amusing that they forward me the flyer's that they need people in Utah, from SLC to here. I've always found it interesting that working at the post office, my dad always mails things a week or so or never after they were meant to be mailed. I wonder when he retires next year if he will start mailing things on time?
So, before I start my Christmas/ mom posts this week, I just wanted to tell my dad how proud of him I am and how much I miss him. His BFF at the office just retired and I imagine that it's hard to be the last of the few remaining old timers. Pete has saved a week of vacation specifically for my dads retirement. I will not miss that. My dad has taken all the requirements to be a postmaster and was in fact the acting postmaster, for a time, in his office. He was the shop steward I believe, for his Postal Union. But best of all is that he is a Million Mile Club member.
So, congratulations dad, I am little bitter however. If I had followed my dream, we could have matching Million Mile Club leather jackets.

In response to Kim's comment......

I think that boys try ..... And try.....
They just don't have the va va for the voom........

You could be a part time model

To start with, I'd like to post a sort of photo response to my sister in law Annisha. She had posted a photo of my niece Jocelyn in a va-va-voom sort of pose and was wondering where she got it from. I have to tell you Annisha, I think all girls go through this phase. I once thought myself, "Where does this come from?" And then I dug a little deeper. It may have something to do with being the oldest, I'm not sure, but I do know that my sister Luisa still has this reaction to me sometimes. I would have added an Olive glamour shot, but hers are usually sans clothing.My mom made a great deal of our clothes when we were younger. My mom has a great sense of style and she made some really great things. The hard part was that we had to go to school. We wore boots and capes and straw hats and I recall quite a bit of velvet. She bought us shoes from a really old lady named Mrs. Clark if I remember correctly. She had a shop in Salinas and in the backroom she had civil war era children's shoes. They laced and buckled. They went very well with the style of clothes my mom made and we always received a lot of compliments from people. We also traveled to San Fransisco to buy straw hats. They had velvet ribbons, flowers, fruit. They were beautiful and now I can appreciate the amount of time that went into dressing us. We looked "historical" and my youngest sister Alex was in the newspaper once and a lady drew her and sold cards(blond babies get all the attention!). My mom continued her job as personal stylist as I grew up. We had so many different types of shoes, kids at school would ask if my parents owned a shoe store. Something Pete has often asked of me in the present. She had our clothes pressed and waiting when we woke up and did our hair everyday. I'm amazed at this for two reasons. The first being the time and effort. I am happy if I have made sure Oscar brushed his hair and is wearing socks before he leaves for school. The second is that my sisters and I never led an uprising. I do recall one time going to the fair, I wanted to wear this sweater that i had received for my birthday with jeans and my mom was not really cool with the outfit. "WHY?,"I complained(teenagers always talk in all caps) "You look just like everybody else," was my moms reply. That's what I wanted at the time. But I credit my mom for showing us how much fun it is to be an individual and to not be ashamed to do your own thing and not follow the crowd. I wonder how Siobhan will sort this out for herself. She wants to be "different" but today that means shopping at Hot Topic, which is what everybody else is doing. I've always let the kids decide what they will and won't wear as long as it's not a novelty t-shirt that says "I Heart Frat Boys"
Now, if we really want to be schooled in fashion we should have a talk with Kenny Loggins. I mean my dad. If this Members Only jacket could talk, the tales it would tell. My favorite memory of this awesome piece of history is when we were at the mall in San Jose and my dad was doing his best at looking cool. Jacket hooked on the thumb, thrown casually over the shoulder. Flipping a coin, strolling along when he fell into a mannequin. I miss that jacket. My dad has had quite a few really good looks but as I've told my sisters, you'll have to wait until March. My dad is a shopper though. A really good one. Which was good because my mom would buy the Sally Socolich Bargain Hunting in the Bay Area book every year and we would spend some weekends driving around San Fransisco seeking out deals. This is where I get it from Pete.
My step dad has a good "look" as well. I like to call these the sculley shades and I felt really happy when I met my father in law and saw he was a fan as well. John has a bit of an edge though, he always has fishing line tied to his so he can also wear them hanging around his neck. This was on their wedding day. My mom has "the stare". Pete says that he has seen my mom do this and I apparently do this very often. He always wonders what I'm thinking, it's probably how he would look in these glasses and a Members Only.

*Siobhan is a Rock Star*

I started playing the violin when I turned 5. Our next door neighbor and her husband were both teachers and members of the symphony. I took private lessons until I was about 15 or 16. I was very encouraged by both my parents and my teacher. She pulled some strings to get me in the elementary school orchestra before I was old enough. I attended University of the Pacific Music camp in the summers thanks in part to my grandparents help. I played in countless recitals, both as a soloist and a member of the orchestra. I auditioned and played in the Central Coast Section Cal State Honors Orchestra several years. I played with the Defense Language Institute Pan cultural Orchestra and what used to be called the Monterey County Honors Orchestra. When I got into high school I took up the trombone so I could be in marching band. That's where all the cute boys were. That's also where the real action was, they got to take lots of trips. I did get to go to Hawaii my freshman year as part of the orchestra. It was my first plane trip and a huge deal. I enjoyed playing but as I got older I was not as passionate about it and after endless excuses to skip lessons, I stopped.The last time I played with an orchestra was my senior year in high school. Now that I'm older though and it isn't something I'm being asked to do, I really love playing. It's not often but if I had the chance I would LOVE to play with a group.

My neighbor also used to give us two tickets for performances of the Monterey County Symphony. These were great nights for my Dad and I. We got dressed up, my dad had a suit that my ken doll also had. No kidding, the same suits, pure coincidence. I seem to remember my mom having me wear a velvet cape. Also, another good topic for the week. We would go and enjoy the music but the best part was ice cream after. I cannot tell you how much fun we had and how hard we would laugh. Anything is funny with my Dad. Both my parents spent a lot of time traveling to auditions and performances. I really did appreciate that, music was one of the best parts of my growing up and I hope for the same experiences for my kids.

Siobhan started band last year. She started out with clarinet, then was hoping for trumpet(there's always someone cute in the trumpet section!), and finally has settled on french horn. Last night was her Christmas performance and I can't believe how great they sounded. I am amazed that most of the students came into the class not knowing how to play anything and they have all really worked at it. I won't push her, but I really hope that she develops a love for playing music. I want to go to concerts with her and out to ice cream. She is also going to skip PE in the last semester this year and take guitar. She really wants to be in a rock band and is obsessed with the fact that Pete has actually toured and recorded CD's. She actually asked him a few nights ago, " If you were still in your band, do you think we would move a lot?" I loved it. Whatever she chooses I will support her, I'm ready for my term as "band mom". I don't think Oscar has much interest in music, he's all science-y, Hans has definite interest, he wants to buy a CD from last night because he really likes one of the songs, Olive? last night she spent her time outside roaming the halls with her Dad. I WANT TO PEE! LET"S GET OUT OF HERE! I CAN WALK ON MY OWN! She kind of sounded like my aunt who once came to one of my concerts. Don't be mad Mom, it is funny. So, I am really proud of Siobhan. I had a hard time getting any good pictures, we were far back but someone else had posted a video of last years performance on YouTube and Siobhan just happens to be in it so if you're interested, you can see it here.

Could be better, could be worse

I was going to talk about the kitty wigs today, but really what could I add that the pictures don't already say? Instead I am going to tell you about my experience with local stores. I grew up in a really small town. I attended the same High School that my parents and my grandmother attended. This is a real advantage as a parent. My mom allowed my sisters and I to roam around town as long as we were with a friend or each other. Upon parting from the house she would leave us with these words,"Behave, no fighting,there is always someone that knows me watching you and they will tell me." I was always to anxious too go to ever really worry about that. In high school, my mom started sending my youngest sister along with me when I went out on walks with my boyfriend. Once, we ended up at the beach, Lovers Point to be exact, a small beach downtown. You can see it here,it's the second photo down. Well, we were getting our feet wet and probably lamenting the fact that we had a chaperon and we ended up swinging Alex by her feet and hands and throwing her in the ocean. I thought that was the end of that but several days later, a series of photos depicting this event showed up in the mail from my moms friend. From that point on I knew that I would have to have my own network of people to keep watch over my kids as well.

I have searched out that hometown feeling as I've moved around. In Utah, when we were living in Sugarhouse, we had a pretty good thing going. Originally there was one house between us and a french bakery and a Starbucks. The bakery ladies loved Hans and he frequently came home from buying bread with a cookie the size of his head. The Starbucks girls and I became friends and they kept an eye on Siobhan when she and her friends would sit outside and try to act sophisticated. I made great friends at the grocery store and would wait a little longer in line just so we could chat for a minute. I think this is what you do when you are a stay at home mom. You make friends where you go, because at home it's all kids. Library, thrift stores and coffee shops. These are the places that people will know me.

When we moved here, to Washington, we chose this town because it was affordable and small and older looking. Pete and I love old, we can't really be comfortable in newness. But as we creep up on a year next week, we have realized that this town is not what we had hoped. In Pete's words, it's pretty whisky tango. I haven't really made any friends or connections.There is one grocery that I do end up at a lot. There is one guy that never fails to amuse me. Yep, I wrote all this just to lead up to my favorite clerk. He is probably about 22 or 23. He is really tall and has long hair that's shaved on the sides. You know that look, they then always wear it in a ponytail. The first time he was my checker he asked how I was and I answered back and asked him, the usual exchange. His response was "Oh, could be better, could be worse." It was all just a very routine, typical exchange. But then, when I was back a week later he used the same response. And on the next person as well. I began to sense it was just a script. Doesn't he realize that the grocery store is the place where housewives talk with people over 12 during the day? After that, I became friendly with the manager and he usually will ring me up. A few weeks back though, I went in the evening and the tall kid was there. As I was taking my wallet out he said" You look like you might be in the market for some new piercings." This wasn't part of the script? I have my nose pierced but a lot of people do, I removed my tongue stud after I found out I had cancer. What made me look like I wanted more piercings? He gave me a card for a friend of his that owns a tattoo shop. He asked if I had tattoos. "Yes, 8," I said. He proceeded to talk,at length, about his tattoos and what they mean to him and all the cool new things he wants and blah blah blah. I came home and told Pete and we laughed and I thought, well at least I'll never have to hear "Could be better,could be worse"again. The night before last, I had to run over to get milk and there was a huge line. I had been waiting awhile when he came in from his break and started a new register. First off, he had hickeys. COME ON, who has hickeys?? Even teenagers don't have them anymore, that is so 1970's! If you do, make some attempt to make them less visible at work. I knew this grocery friendship was not going to move forward. But when he said his "could be better,could be worse line" I knew it was time to move on. So, I guess he's not exactly my favorite checker, just the most annoying.
Tonight is Siobhans Christmas Band concert and I already know that this will be a great topic for tomorrow. I have all kinds of band/orchestra stories. Also, I'm open to any suggestions. I can't post without a photo or video and this one I posted over a year ago and it never worked. So, here we go again, Pete's favorite.....

Holiday AHOY!

Okay, first before I get on with my story I have to post this. I don't know how they mixed up this girl with Siobhan but they have. Everything is gay around here. And unfair. And lame. I always have to borrow money from Oscar. And Pete is totally always hassling me. I think Siobhan might feel this way also.

After I posted the video yesterday I was asked what the song was saying. I possess a very small grasp on the Spanish language. My grandparents spoke Spanish, it seems, to everybody but us. I know a lot of phrases and can understand more than I can speak. There were a lot of instances where my Grandmother would be telling me a story and she couldn't convey in English the thought or feeling. Sometimes the words just don't match up. There was also a great deal of hand gestures that were involved in punctuating her point. Oddly enough, my grandmother on my fathers side was a high school Spanish teacher. So, I chose Spanish as my language in high school. My teacher was older and drank a great deal. She mostly spent the hour chatting up the football players and telling me how my parents always kissed in the hallways when they were students there. So, I didn't learn a lot and when I went to college to get some knowledge I retook Spanish. I loved the first year, it was cake and I got an A and was excited to move on. This is where it went wrong. First, this teacher was on some serious, anti-anxiety medication, a fact made known when she took it during class while she cried. The work was a little harder and I asked my grandmother for some help. She said it would not be wise, native speakers have a different style of speaking, but I insisted and that was a mistake. Nothing translated correctly and the teacher made so much fun of my attempts that I dropped the class after a feud involving the word helado. At least I knew all the swears correctly to mutter under my breath. I can attribute that to my grandfather, although my grandmother wasn't shy in that area either. My grandpa was a very serious drinker, but he was sometimes really fun. What I really loved, even though at the time it drove my grandma mad, was when he would just play his guitar and sing in his room. He sang mariachi and I thought he was good. He could sing and dance really well, in my mind. I tried to find my newspaper clipping of him with his brothers in their mariachi costumes but I could only find the following one. The paper says they were rehearsing for "Holiday AHOY!" a talent show where they would be impersonating stage and screen personalities. This is in 1955. I know the pictures not great, but my grandpa is second from the left.

So, that's what I have for today. I am determined to post something every day this week. We may have to leave the house though to come up with something good. Maybe tomorrow I can tell you about my favorite grocery store clerk. Or we can talk about this. That's a good one. I have to say, sometimes I see what time my sisters in law have posted or commented and I wonder if it's lack of sleep that makes us all so eager to read each others blogs. I LOVE theirs but sometimes feel that there is no way anybody but myself finds the stuff I post entertaining. Too bad we don't all live closer. I would love to put on an updated version of Holidays AHOY!

La Nina Fresa

I had to post something because I know my sisters read this at least once a day and they get sick of looking at the same picture over and over. First of all, thank you Alex for the lemon curd. It was so good and so appreciated. In return, I'd like to share this with you...........

This picture is old. One of the kids took it as I was walking through our old house and they love it because they think I look like I'm dancing the robot. It's a favorite around here. Below, you will find one of two restraining orders Oscar has served at school. This is the new thing in elementary school boy/girl relations. As you may guess, it was Oscars buddy I've talked about before that spurred this. Pete said he may use this idea at work.

Oscar has been saving his money for some time now. He is good at that, not like me. He loves to think about what he could buy. Usually, he ends up "lending"it to Siobhan so she can go out with her friends. I am not happy about that but he still does it. I do recall, however, talking my sister Luisa into "lending"me money once to get an ill advised perm. It didn't even take. Anyway, Oscar made me so proud, or as Hans likes to say, prouded me up, when he took all his saved up money and asked if I would take him Christmas shopping. He bought a present for his brother, both sisters and each one of his cousins that will be here Christmas morning. He really thought it out and I thought I'd cry just watching him think out if each gift was really right for the person. He had a difficult time when he walked past the Star Wars section and saw some new figures he doesn't have but wants. I told him it was his money, but he held tough. He came home and wrapped them all himself and put them under the tree. So, I think that I will have to get back to my blogging. I have been in a funk, and it's hard to get anything done in such a state. This makes me happy though so I plan to post everyday this week. My Mom will be here by Monday so that will be great. Now,as a last thought for today I would like to revisit a period in my life where my sister Alex and I were the best of friends. She was still in high school and I was not. I had a car and she did not. I weighed about 280 and she wore polyester bendin' easy pants. We both had red hair. And, WE HAD FUN! We played music so loud in my truck that we blew the speakers, I sang along to everything. This was a favorite, kind of an anthem to those days,so Alex may I present the video....

P.S. The red suit and tie will be an absolute must for Pete this Christmas. I call this song!

Mama Drama

Last night I had to take Siobhan to the doctor. For a week now she and Pete had been treating an ingrown toenail she had. Pete is the medic in this house. If you want to see me completely fall apart, just present any of my kids with any type of injury. Pete was first a witness to this on our first trip together to California. When Oscar choked on a piece of steak and I stood up at the table screaming at Pete and my dad"Why isn't anyone doing something?" I don't mean to be this way, I just simply cannot function. All time stands still when one of the kids are injured. When Hans was a baby he fell on the same corner of his head several times. Each fall resulting in a goose egg with a split down the center. Each fall meant several nights of staying up to rouse him out of sleep and make sure he was okay. I still check my kids breathing every night. This may continue into high school, I am just that paranoid. Luckily, Pete is accepting of this and is able to keep the kids calm and talk me through it as well. Both of my boys have been under anesthesia to have dental work, both times I held my breath for hours. It's funny because I spent my high school years as a volunteer in the emergency room at the hospital. I had the Friday or Saturday night shift and saw some pretty gruesome things. It's not about the injuries though, it's about the kids. I don't have this problem when I go to the hospital for myself, although my heart breaks a thousand times over when I see a baby at the oncology center.
So, back to the story, last night Siobhan and I went to the doctor. She does not like going to the doctor and had been begging to avoid it. Initially she did really well. I had to fill out several forms and when I got to the parent relationship question, I was surprised. I thought for a minute and put down, very good, an accurate description in my mind. This brought Siobhan down, she could not stop laughing. I had not thought that they didn't already know we are divorced. I'm glad we enjoyed that laugh together because the next 30 minutes were pure hysteria. It only took the doctor a glance and then he advised her they'd have to do a little operation and remove a portion of her toenail. I knew she was going to lose it when she started rubbing her arm, a nervous habit. As soon as he left the room the tears started and then the begging to just leave. She rubbed and pinched her arm so hard that she has several bruises today. They gave her several shots to numb her toe and she rubbed my hand that she was holding all over her face and bit my finger. When they actually did cut the toenail it was so quick and painless that she was stunned into silence, something rare for Siobhan. So they bandaged it with this big toe sock and gave her a really fashionable sandal. I knew what she was thinking and told her if she came home from school with any writing on the toe bandage I will be furious. I was feeling pretty good about my performance, I didn't cry or freak out, I was just there to comfort her and it all went fine. But then, as I was relaying the story to my mom last night, Hans cut his finger when he closed the door on it. THERE WAS BLOOD! Thank God for DR. Peter Lindgren.

A Challenge

I challenge you to find something more festive than a Darth Vader figurine in a Santa Hat building a death star out of snow. Thank you Pat, it's just what the holidays were missing........

What Can't IKEA Do?

Well, that was an unexpected little break. I've been a little more tired and a little bit sicker than last time so I've been taking it easy. Mostly we've been doing a lot of Christmas preparations and a lot of dancing. Olive loves dress ups and has a huge suitcase full. She gets very angry with me though because she wants me to wear certain pieces that are her size and doesn't get why I am so unwilling. She always has marker or pen on her. It's so frustrating and I didn't understand it until Pete told me to take a look at myself. I guess there will be tattoos in her future, I just hope they aren't on her face like now. So, once she is dressed, we dance. I'm only allowed certain dance moves that she likes, she can dance however she wants and can last for hours.
I have had some good thrift shopping success this last week and found a new pair of boots that I had been wanting. I also found this game for Hans. We have a German lotto game that Olive and Hans love. It's a Ravensburger game, which I love and we play it a lot. We had so much success with it that I have started quite a collection of games. When I saw this one I loved the box but inside was an alphabet lotto instead of the crayon magic. I don't know if you can see it, but in the top right corner the previous owner has written, " HANS -ALPHABET LOTTO". That's whats sold me.
This time of year is crazy for Pete at work and this was a rare weekend off for him. We usually get our tree the weekend of Thanksgiving but held out for not only his day off but the opportunity to cut our own. Growing up, we cut our tree down in the Santa Cruz mountains. So, Saturday morning we drove out to the tree farm. We woke up to snow, not very much, it just had dusted everything. We walked the tree farm but just could not spend eighty dollars on a tree. We decided to head to IKEA for lunch and to discuss where we might go from there. Well, it so happened that this was the weekend IKEA sold trees. Apparently it is a hugely popular event. You buy a Douglas Fir between 5 and 7 feet for $14.99 with a $10 deposit. In January you bring it back to be recycled and you get your $10 back in the form of an IKEA gift certificate. They mulch them and donate the mulch to local parks. Plus, the boys got to enjoy some glogg. So, we have our tree and I'm really happy with it. But, I also want to relate a little of the craziness that accompanies snow here. As I said, it snowed yesterday. At first it was just a light dusting but it picked up and there was a portion of the day that saw actual snow. I had an eye appointment 10 miles away and when I got there they were calling everybody to cancel . They closed early because it had snowed a quarter an inch. No kidding. One lady actually said she had just bought chains. CHAINS, for less than an inch of snow that melted by the time I drove home. When we first moved here last year it did snow quite a bit. Not like in Utah, but still snow. The kids were out of school for about a week, fed ex did not deliver our closing papers, people went nuts. I woke up early one morning when we were in the apartment and saw a neighbor had removed a door from his place and was shoveling the driveway with it. If you don't believe me, I do have video. So, I think I will stay indoors as much as possible to avoid the crazies. I'm glad we have cable.

Where the Magic Happens

Pete bought me this sewing machine two years ago at the DI for $10. It weighs no less than 30 pounds and came with all the manuals even though it is 40 or 50 years old. I also have a Husqvarna that my Mom gave me but I have never been able to figure it out so this is the machine I use. Recently, the foot pedal stopped working and so I would have to plug the motor in to sew and remove it to stop. The outlets are just to the left of the machine. Last week, it sparked and blew. I would have been fine to try it again but Pete being into safety and all said no way. He stripped the wires and fixed it so that I now plug it into this extension cord here. It actually works really well but I think after Christmas I made need to make alternate arrangements. I'm documenting this because I want my kids to know what a task it is to sew these costumes they keep asking for. So, thank you Pete for fixing me up, it's so nice to have a handyman around.
Another activity I enjoy is watching TV at night when everybody else is in bed and there is nobody to talk through my stories. I watch with the captions on and it has been a real pain because Olive peed on our remote one day and it hasn't worked since. Funny how sentences like that don't even make me flinch since I've had Olive. So, I have to get out of bed to change the channel or turn it off. I know, not major, but it's cold. So yesterday Pete came home with a new REMOTE COMMANDER. That's what it says on the package. Pete is hoping this will encourage me to spend a lot more time in bed. I will never again refer to my "changer" as an inferior controller. As a matter of fact I advised Pete I will not even respond if he uses the dumb name controller. I'm thinking about making one of those plastic covers for it, just in case.
Lastly, I'd like to thank everybody for the well wishes. It's been kind of a wide range of emotions for me and I was really happy for the emails and phone calls, so thank you again, for everything.

Mama Said Knock You Out

It's not the way I like to see myself, but I know that deep down I love attention. I think most people do, but I also thrive on chaos and noise and a certain amount of drama. I love it. Hans is like this also, we can't listen to music at a decent level, it has to be full blast or not at all. I know there are mornings that Pete has driven the car to work after I have driven it that he gets in and turns the car on and probably gets really pissed. Especially at that ungodly hour. Pete's not like this, he is quiet and shuts down when there is too much excitement. Olive is like him in that sense. Hans and I though? No way, if there are people awake we are awake, we cannot miss out on a moment of action. We are last to bed and first to rise. This is why I am really perplexed as to how I've handled being sick. I really don't want any reaction to it. I actually don't even want to talk about it. I do have a new, tiny tumor. I will be going back to radiation. They won't be operating so as not to screw my speech or swallowing. I told my parents and I'm letting everyone else know here. Mostly because I hate being out of the loop and I don't want anyone left out. Other than that, I think I will have this done by Christmas and we can move on. This is one area that I just want to be completely solitary. I think I will need Pete a little more than last time but I am going to continue with my Christmas plans and forge on. So, now you know. No secrets on this blog. I will let you also know that I refused the treatment at first but Pete talked me to my senses. I will also spare you the several dark jokes I have thought up as some people are really sensitive( that's right Alex, you never laugh at them!) Instead I will leave you with this video, it is cheesy and 70's. I know that my Dad is not a Cat Stevens fan but I love this song. I have for a long time and this is something Hans and I will have turned up all the way today....

Clever Title

Well, just last night I finished putting away the last of the Thanksgiving dishes. They trickled in as we ate our way through turkey for breakfast,lunch and dinner the last couple of days. The day after Thanksgiving Pete went in to work sometime between 3:30 and 4:00 am. I drove him because I wanted to get some fabric and whatnot at the day after sales. I took the two little ones with me because Pat was staying with us over the holiday and they had plans to be out early. So we bundled up and went out. Hans wore his favorite hat that Big Grandma gave him in California. He wears it everyday and puts it on so he looks like he has a mohawk, or as he called it yesterday, a homohawk.
Siobhan and Oscar had a great time with their Dad. They are completely indulged when they are with him. I cannot even begin to tell you how many presents they had. They went up the Space Needle and rock climbing, archery practice, laser tag. They had so much fun, but most of all they just relish their time with Pat. When I see Siobhan with her Dad I can imagine a little how my Mom must have felt watching me and my Dad. The incessant, inside, ridiculous jokes. Everything is funny and no one else quite gets it. Those two have a special bond and when I see Siobhan with her friends, I see Pat when he was 17. I'm glad he'll be back for Christmas. Hans is very sad he left.

So, I usually like to have something fun planned for the day Pat leaves. It's hard to say goodbye. Siobhan was granted a furlough from her month long grounding she was sentenced to last week to attend a birthday party. Before that though we made a trip to the kids all time favorite place in Washington.....IKEA. My kids LOVE Ikea. They have kids club cards and swipe them at every visit. They usually end up with a free meal in the cafeteria and that is why they love it. Meatballs,fries, ligonberries and a drink. If they don't get the free meal it's $1.99 and that I can deal with. I do like shopping there also. Yesterday I wanted to go for the gnome wrapping paper because I so love gnomes. They are sold out, which really bummed me out but at least I got my $1 latte on the way home. So now it's back to working on Christmas presents. It will be easier when I get my new glasses this week. My old ones have seen better days and those days were usually when Olive wasn't around.....

Thanksful

Happy Thanksgiving to everyone! It wasn't until I started cooking three days ago that I realized that this would be my first solo Thanksgiving. I was the adult and there were no parents to back me up. I trumped Dads measly 9 guests with my impressive 14. Never mind that 10 of them are not old enough to vote or even buy a Lotto ticket. I made a 22 pound turkey, mashed potatoes, yams with marshmallows, ginger/pear cranberry sauce, stuffing,green beans and corn. In addition to the leftover 4 layer black and white cake from last night we will be having pumpkin pie and a ginger/pear cheesecake. That's right, I'm patting myself on the back, that's a lot of work and I will never complain about anybodies mood during Thanksgiving preparations ever again.
I think it has gone pretty well, thus far. The kids were happy and that's really what it's all about. Patrick is here and Siobhan and Oscar are thrilled. I made all the kids write a page about what they were thankful for. The older kids mostly wrote their home, food, family...the younger ones toys... Hans knows letters but not really how to spell too much and he inadvertently wrote sex.
So, today I am thankful for many things. For Pete and how hard he works to allow me to stay home with the kids. For the kids and all the joy and love they bring to our lives. For all of our family that isn't here today. I am very homesick for Utah today but am happy to be with my sister and neices and nephews. Mostly though I am thankful for being here. I would not have chosen to have cancer but I am thankful for what it has given me. I appreciate all the wonderful things I am blessed with and all the opportunities to come that I will not pass up for lack of time. Finally, I am thankful for this silly blog that I love. It has given me a place to spill my thoughts. I have been able to reconnect with old friends, have daily contact with my family and learn more about friends and family that I didn't know well enough. Also, it is someplace to show off my ever expanding collection of food photos. Hope you had a great Thanksgiving. Love, Matilda

Oscar Valenzuela Roche- The big 10

Who's double digits today? This guy.... I am the oldest of three girls. After I had Siobhan and was pregnant with Oscar, I prayed for a boy. I did not know what I was having with my first two babies and I will never forget the moment Oscar was born and I saw he was indeed a boy. For those that were not around to know Oscar as a baby you may be surprised to know that he was a big baby. He was a Mamas boy and did not like to be held by anyone other than me. One day a week I would have to work in Siobhans preschool as part of the coop and he would stay with my Grandmother about 10 blocks away. He did not want to be held so when he was old enough to stand she would put him in her shopping cart. You know, the kind that is a big basket with wheels. He would stand in it next to her rocking chair and she'd feed him through the bars. Oscar was her baby and she adored him like no other. There are times that Oscar will let loose a little and when he does he is downright silly. He has an amazing imagination and can build anything out of legos. He draws up plans for different forts and clubhouses. He made a bank in our living room when I was in California. Pete deposited a dollar but was unable to withdraw it because he didn't have the dollar service fee for withdrawal. Oscar wants to be an engineer or an architect when he grows up. I think he will be great at that. He has scored above average on all state testing and receives straight A's in school. He reads a lot and next month will be competing in a "reading bee".
He is also a collector like his Mom. As I may have mentioned before, the kids at school call him Vacuum. He brings home anything he finds on the playground, floor or trash that he can use to make something. Last week he came home with 17 boxes of raisins because nobody else wanted them from the school lunch that day. The kids at school love him, especially the girls. This is his Achilles heel, he is after all a 10 year old boy and girls are strange territory right now. Awhile back while Siobhan was relaying a story at the dinner table there was mention of bra size and even though he was not a part of the conversation, Oscar got up from the table and started scratching his armpits and saying " I'm a monkey". Whenever he is uncomfortable he blurts out random things. A classic is chicken banana, a staple in early years that we still use daily in our house. I thank God everyday that he gave me the boy I prayed for. I never could have imagined what a joy he would be to me. Oscar is very independent and I don't always feel that he needs me but I know that I need him. He is a big help and we have a lot of fun together. I love you Oscar, more than I could ever say, Happy Birthday my boy, chicken banana! Love, your Mama aka Harry Blogger

The First Thanksgiving

Last minute preparations are in full swing for the big day. Tomorrow Oscar will be 10! I need a break from the cooking and wrapping and thought this may be a good time to share my favorite Thanksgiving. I do not have a great history with Thanksgiving. It's not really my favorite, we always had great dinners and enjoyed being with family when I was young, but that was not rare. We spent a lot of time with extended family, almost daily, and we always ate well. Thanksgiving brought out a frenzy of activity in my Mom, understandably, it was a lot to take on and my sisters and I tended to get in the way. I remember I tried to talk her down a few times but truthfully she loved the rush and the stress. Now that I have my own kids I can relate to that feeling. You want good memories for your children and you feel entirely responsible for their experience and it HAS to be perfect. I remember we spent one year at Patricks brothers when Siobhan was just tiny. I spent the entire day laying in their bed with a serious stomach bug. Pat did not yet have a drivers license and for some reason we were driving my dads van that had an awesome back door. When we tried to slide it open it came off the hinges and we could not get it back on, Pat's brother ended driving us home and I was sick the whole way.
With that bit of background, you may not be surprised that when Pete's parents invited me to Thanksgiving after I had met them twice, I told Pete I could not go. I did stay up late the night before baking. I wanted to make a pecan pie for his Dad, as he had asked me if I could bake and when I told him I could, he requested a pecan. At that point in our life Pete and I enjoyed beer a lot. I think we went through a few 12 packs that night. In addition we both smoked quite a bit. So, by the next morning he talked me into going. It was not surprising that he didn't feel great. He was also nervous, I was new to his family and he didn't often bring girls over. By the time we got there he was having serious chest pains and not breathing very well. He laid down in his Moms room and I was so grateful that Aaron and I were already friends because I was probably as nervous as Pete. We sat down to eat and Pete decided he needed to go to the hospital. It was a blur from there, Aaron told me I should stay and eat, Kim grabbed her jacket to take us, his parents also had a couple of missionaries over for dinner and they proceeded to give Pete a blessing, the first I had ever witnessed. It was so surreal to be there, on Thanksgiving, with new people and Pete was having a heart attack. His parents followed us and we spent plenty of time there in the waiting room. Good thing I brought pictures from our recent trip to Seattle. Here was Pete with my nephew and a 40 ounce, here's us at the bar, here we are in Chinatown with mini Sapporo's.
In the end it didn't take much to deduce that he really just had a hangover/panic attack of sorts. I was so happy that he was okay. Mostly though, it was that day that made me realize how great his family was. Kim and his parents were obviously worried about him but as guilty as I felt they never made me feel bad. They were so nice. Nice enough to invite me back over. I also think that was a big day for Pete and I, it was only a few weeks later that he proposed. By the next Thanksgiving I would be pregnant with Hans. I have spent every Thanksgiving since that first with Pete's family, on the off years usually at our house. I will miss them so much this year. I am sad that I'm not there to make a pecan pie for John or do a Thanksgiving art project with Sharron. So, tomorrow night I may have to commemorate my initiation into Pete's family and crack open a Red Dog. But just one.

Fishin'

This is just a tiny little post to let Grandpa Fish know that Pete is now ready for some serious fishing and now has a "spot". Salmon for dinner! By the way, Oscar caught his own!